IELTS Letter, topic: Asking for information about an executive event

You are organizing an executive event for the company you work for.
Task: Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to ask for information about organizing an executive event at your venue.

My name is Marcio, I work for a multinational company, and we need to prepare an event that will be held on December 17. I would like to obtain the {tooltip}below{end-link}following{end-tooltip} information :

1. How many people can your club {tooltip}support{end-link}contain{end-tooltip}?
2. What kind of food {tooltip}to{end-link}do{end-tooltip} you serve?
3. Is there any special service {tooltip}for disabled people{end-link}available for the disabled{end-tooltip}?
4. What time can we start the event?
5. Do you have any kind of “animation service” to offer?
6. How much do you charge for your services?
7. Do you offer any transportation?
8. Is there anything else included in your {tooltip}services{end-link}the word service repeats too many times - use a synonym{end-tooltip} ?

I {tooltip}need{end-link}would like{end-tooltip} to receive this information before October, because I need to prepare the department in charge of the event and invite the participants. You can send me this information via fax, to the number +55 (21) 3422-9559, or email me at : This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I am confident that your company will provide us with the best type of service we need, based on abundance of good reviews about your company.

Yours faithfully,
Marcio Marinho

This is a good letter. It covers the task, is correctly structured, and you used the appropriate style and vocabulary. There are some sentences that need a change in structure (see comments underlined in blue) and there are also repetitions of the same word, which should be avoided. Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 – 7 letter.