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IELTS Essay, topic: Internet connecting people

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

In today's world {tooltip}_{end-link},{end-tooltip} due to the advancement of technology new inventions are coming into existence. It is true that ‘Necessity is a mother of invention’. {tooltip}_{end-link}The{end-tooltip} Internet is just like a wonder box, which contains every type of information. {tooltip}Besides{end-link}Besides{end-tooltip} it has also proved {tooltip}as{end-link}to be{end-tooltip} a very important tool to connect people with one another.

In today’s modernized era nobody has sufficient time to write letters to their loved ones. {tooltip}Moreover{end-link}Moreover,{end-tooltip} it also takes longer to send or receive any information{tooltip}. But{end-link},but{end-tooltip} the Internet is the easiest way to send messages to our loved ones. Communication can be either in the form of e-mail or through text messages sent via {tooltip}internet{end-link}the Internet{end-tooltip} to mobile phones. We can send and receive messages straight {tooltip}way{end-link}away{end-tooltip}.

{tooltip}In other hand{end-link}On the other hand{end-tooltip} today’s young generation mostly prefers to do chatting through the Internet. During such chatting we can write messages and get replies straight away. {tooltip}Moreover{end-link}Moreover,{end-tooltip} voice chatting is {tooltip}going to be very popular day-by-day{end-link}becoming more popular every day{end-tooltip}.

{tooltip}As it is a reality{end-link}In reality{end-tooltip} the advantages and disadvantages resemble two sides of one coin, {tooltip}which usually runs parallel. So like other things internet{end-link}so as any other thing the Internet{end-tooltip} also {tooltip}have{end-link}has{end-tooltip} some downsides, {tooltip}like{end-link}such as{end-tooltip} causing people health problems {tooltip}for example,{end-link}including{end-tooltip} poor eye-sight, back ache or migraines. Today’s teenagers usually prefer to spend their time on the internet rather than {tooltip}to participating{end-link}participating{end-tooltip} in other physical activities, which causing them to have a weaker physical health.

To conclude, I would like to say that the Internet is one of the most modernized and most successful tools, not only for {tooltip}communication, even to get most relevant information{end-link}communication, but also for getting the most relevant information{end-tooltip} regarding every field in a very short period of time.

This is a great essay, well done! Remember, ‘the Internet’ is a proper noun, currently, there is only one. Pay attention to your punctuation – many commas are missing after linking words. Otherwise, the essay is well argued and set out.