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IELTS Essay, topic: Dieting changes a person’s life

Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What is your opinion?

Almost {tooltip}90%{end-link}use words, not digits (ninety percent){end-tooltip} of the women today want a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have {tooltip}tought{end-link}thought{end-tooltip} and gone on a diet before either to {tooltip}slim dowm{end-link}lose weight{end-tooltip} or just {tooltip}for{end-link}because of a{end-tooltip} health problem.

A proper diet programme will help you not only to slim down but also to have a {tooltip}healtier{end-link}healthier{end-tooltip} eating habits. For instance {tooltip}taking{end-link}eating or consuming{end-tooltip} more vegetables and fruits {tooltip}that{end-link}than{end-tooltip} meat, {tooltip}avoid{end-link}avoiding{end-tooltip} fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme we shouldn’t {tooltip}cut one self from{end-link}deny ourselves{end-tooltip} food and water. There are some diet programmes from the doctors that help you to have a {tooltip}healty{end-link}healthy{end-tooltip} heart like the “Three day diet” which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. This way of dieting will help you to avoid some of the health problems in the future like {tooltip}diebetes{end-link}diabetes{end-tooltip} or a heart attack.

However some people do not only go on a diet but they avoid eating and {tooltip}go{end-link}stay{end-tooltip} hungry for the whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there {tooltip}a{end-link}are{end-tooltip} people who buy special diet programmes over the counter {tooltip}like taking pills{end-link}that are based on pills{end-tooltip} which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. They do not follow the basic rules of dieting and this will lead them to some serious health problems like {tooltip}disfuctional{end-link}dysfunction{end-tooltip} of some body parts or, even worse, death.

In my opinion there is {tooltip}notting{end-link}nothing{end-tooltip} wrong with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and {tooltip}for a good reason to diet{end-link}have a good reason for dieting{end-tooltip}.

This essay needs some work. It covers the task and has a good structure. The paragraphs are logically connected and many of sentences are structured correctly. However, there are some sentences with poor structure and many grammatical errors (See comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

Source: ielts-blog.com