IELTS Essay, topic: A popular hobby rather than a favorite passtime

Nowadays people like to change their day by day activities according to the latest trends and also they are following popular things {tooltip}what their surrounding peoples make them popular in their area{end-link}that people  around them are doing{end-tooltip}. This essay will explain the reason why the people are spending more time {tooltip}for{end-link}on{end-tooltip} popular hobbies rather than their individual activities.

Hobbies and {tooltip}interest{end-link}interests{end-tooltip} are different for everyone; this is the human nature,{tooltip}which is given by god{end-link}created by God{end-tooltip}. The current generations {tooltip}peoples{end-link}of people{end-tooltip} are very much {tooltip}interest{end-link}interested{end-tooltip} in the latest trend which makes them happy and also {tooltip}help{end-link}helps{end-tooltip} them to make more money. For example, cricket is the most famous game in {tooltip}many of the country{end-link}many countries{end-tooltip}, children and {tooltip}teen ages are starts{end-link}teenagers start{end-tooltip} playing it whenever they have free time in their daily life. This makes them {tooltip}will{end-link}want to{end-tooltip} become a star in this game when they reach a certain age in their life. In addition, this popularity will help them to make lots of money in their life. {tooltip}Beside this{end-link}Besides{end-tooltip}, there are many {tooltip}hobby changes the peoples entire life into different way{end-link}hobbies that can change people's lives in different ways{end-tooltip}.

Those {tooltip}are from poor family{end-link}from poor families are{end-tooltip} aiming to spend more time to make money rather than on their own interests. However, some of them are not {tooltip}worry{end-link}worried{end-tooltip} about the popular hobbies and interests. For instance, drinking alcohol is one of the popular hobbies {tooltip}between{end-link}for{end-tooltip} low income and {tooltip}high level budget peoples interest{end-link}higher income brackets{end-tooltip}.

In conclusion, {tooltip}_{end-link}whether or not people are" was missing here{end-tooltip} spending more time {tooltip}for{end-link}on{end-tooltip} popular hobbies and interests really depends on their {tooltip}surrounding people’s activity and environments{end-link}environment and what people around them are doing{end-tooltip}. It may {tooltip}be a helpful for them{end-link}help them{end-tooltip} to become a star in their life or {tooltip}spending{end-link}to spend more{end-tooltip} time with many friends.

Avoid statements such as ‘This essay will explain the reason’, your essay should present a point of view including supporting information and examples. The essay needs to be easy to follow, and in addition your English should be accurate and appropriate.

I suggest that you read several essays that have been awarded high band scores and think about how those writers have structured their essays.